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GENTLE HONESTY KEY TO HELPING KIDS PROCESS TERRORIST NEWS, COUNSELORS SAY
Education, Disability Groups Provide Guidance

September 13, 2001

In classrooms, walking school hallways and on the playgrounds, educators worked to stay calm and rational Tuesday as news filtered in of the horrific terrorist attacks on buildings and planes in Washington, New York and Pennsylvania. In the days following, many have searched for ways to help their students process a series of violent events that even adults are still struggling to comprehend. The key to guiding young people through this time of shock and confusion, according to several child psychologists, is providing a sense of security while finding a way to discuss reality.

"Tell children the truth," the National Association of School Psychologists advised parents and educators in a coping guide issued this week. "Don't try to pretend the event has not occurred or that it is not serious. Children are smart. They will be more worried if they think you are too afraid to tell them what is happening." Grounding efforts to reassure children in reality and honesty is critical, child psychiatrist Stanley Greenspan agrees. "When the unimaginable happens, children as well as adults will feel frightened and worried," he told parents and educators in an online chat Wednesday afternoon hosted by WashingtonPost.com. Greenspan, who is also professor of psychiatry, behavioral sciences and pediatrics at George Washington University School of Medicine, noted, "Adults need to recognize that the same messages apply to them as well when they are overwhelmed and scared."

View this list of publications on coping with tragedy and web-based resources with more information View the NASP's 9 tips for parents

Child psychologists argue reassuring children that they are not in danger is the top priority when discussing the attacks that killed thousands of American citizens. "Children, like many people, may be confused or frightened by the news and will look to adults for information and guidance on how to react," the NASP said. "Parents and school personnel can help children cope first and foremost by establishing a sense of safety and security."

The NASP called on educators to demonstrate to their students the importance of remaining calm and under control. "Children take their emotional cues from the significant adults in their lives. Avoid appearing anxious or frightened," the NASP said. The National Association for the Education of Young Children offered specific suggestions for maintaining a calm mood in the classroom, including playing soothing music, moving slowly and using a quiet voice. "Children may have a difficult time accepting routines and other limits, but persevere by being firm and supportive," the NAEYC said. "Make decisions for children when they cannot cope with choice."

In discussing the aftermath, educators can remind students that "trustworthy people are in charge," including emergency workers, police, firefighters, doctors, nurses and military personnel, the NASP suggests. Families, meanwhile, should make an extra effort to spend time together "in a warm and secure emotional climate," Greenspan suggested. "This reassures the child more than anything else that his/her world is still safe."

That sense of safety is especially important for kids in middle and high school, who may feel a potential threat to their home or school, their source of comfort and stability, more acutely as part of typical adolescent insecurities, according to family therapist Carleton Kendrick, who provides grade-appropriate suggestions at FamilyEducation.com.

In fact, Kendrick argues, the approach adults take to explain the tragedy should depend on the child's age. Preschool children, for example, have a limited ability to understand complex subjects like terrorism, but they know when their parents and teachers are upset. According to Kendrick, adults should limit exposure to television images of the carnage and should use general terms to explain their own feelings as very young children inquire about them. Children in kindergrten through third grade, on the other hand, are likely to get information about the attacks from various sources but will need help interpreting it, he notes.

Turning Terrorism into Understanding and Compassion

"When children witness violent events, directly or on television, the result is often fear and confusion," the NAEYC notes. "Not only can the sudden and unexpected nature of many disasters cause high anxiety and even panic, but young children are also most fearful when they do not understand what is happening around them."

For children in upper elementary and early middle schools, more background facts and context will probably be needed, Kendrick said. For example, the NASP suggests explaining to students that the World Trade Center and the Pentagon "were targeted for their symbolism and that schools, neighborhoods and regular office buildings are not at risk."

These children "may need assistance separating reality from fantasy," the NASP agrees. They will probably want further explanation of what is being done to maintain security in their immediate environment -- their school, their home and their community.

Children, regardless of age, need ample opportunity to voice their own observations and feelings, then reassurance that they are not alone in feeling that way, most experts noted. The NASP also warned all adults to be alert for changes in behavior, appetite and sleep patterns that may indicate a child is struggling with grief or anxiety.8